A quick note on gaming and why I think it’s rarely ever an addiction (or: why you as a gamer shouldn’t worry)
I’m often asked about game addiction. People tell me: “Hey, I think my kid / cousin / distant relative / good friend is addicted to games!”
My response is always the same: “What makes you think that?” or “How does this “addiction” show?”
More often than not, the response is a simple “they spend most of their free time playing games!”
Digging a little deeper, I tend to learn more about the gaming habits of those aforementioned people, and they’re always the same. They play Fortnite, VALORANT, Overwatch, CS:GO, League of Legends — in short, competitive games, but most importantly, multiplayer games. Social experiences.
Obviously we live in unprecedented times, gaming is on the rise and socializing in other ways has become more and more difficult over the past months. More than anything, this has highlighted not only the importance of gaming in the lives of those people that already had the habit of playing games as a social activity, but also moved more gamers, and even non-gamers, into the territory of social gaming.
At this point I would like to highlight that, while there are many, many differing cohorts of gamers, I distinguish two distinct kinds of gamers that might both call themselves core gamers: social gamers and, for lack of a better word, solo gamers. Some people will at varying stages of their lives have moved from one cohort to the other, but what distinguishes them is the following:
Social gamers are gamers that almost exclusively play games that are, in one way or another, social experiences. This could be in the form of an MMORPG like World of Warcraft, it could be through casual experiences like Minecraft or through competitive titles like League of Legends, Counter-Strike or Dota 2. Much more so than competitive drive, I would argue these players are driven by the ability to play with their friends (potentially also impress them) and engage in a social activity through games.
Solo gamers are gamers that almost exclusively play games that are, well, single-player experiences. To them, gaming is about getting lost in a story and in a world that isn’t the “real world”; it is much more about either simply de-stressing after a long day at work, or more generally about experiencing a story: much like watching a movie, but just slightly more engaging.
How does this relate to the topic of gaming addiction, or rather, perceived gaming addiction? Well, I think first and foremost it’s important to clarify what type of gamer they are. It’s quite possible that they are above all else lead by their social and competitive desires and simply fulfilling those needs. It’s also very possible that they simply need that time getting lost in The Witcher as a way to alleviate their daily stress, which, as I was told by my therapist, should be considered more important than any perceived social obligations.
There’s really just one point I want to try and get across with all of this: there are a multitude of very good reasons to play games, and the amount of time spent playing games is absolutely excusable even if it seems excessive compared to many other hobbies. If you’re on the outside looking in (as a non-gamer), just consider for a moment how much time you spend meeting people for dinners, partying, grabbing coffee with friends, going to the movies, and all these other things combined: if the person you’re concerned about spends all that same amount of time playing games, it’s probably because they feel fulfilled socially doing so, or because it’s an important way for them to alleviate daily stress. I would say as long as that is the case, their habit is nothing to worry about.
Like with any other thing too: consider it an addiction if it impacts the person’s life, job, relationships and general duties in a negative way. If you don’t see any of these red flags: stop judging, and let people do what they need to do to feel fulfilled and content in life.
